So Few Be They by J. C. Ryle

I speak without respect of persons; I say it of all. Rich or poor, gentle or rough, educated or uneducated, in the city or in the country — it makes no difference. I shudder to think how few young men are led by the Spirit, how few are on that narrow road which leads to life, how few are setting their affections on things above, how few are taking up the cross, and following Christ. I say all this with sorrow, but I believe, in God's sight, that I am saying nothing more than the truth.

Young men, you form a large and most important class in the population of this country; but where, and in what condition, are your souls? Regardless of where we turn for an answer, the report will be one and the same! Let us ask any faithful minister of the gospel, and note what he will tell us. How many unmarried young people can he remember who come to the Lord's Supper? Who are the most backward about the doctrines of salvation, the most irregular about Sunday services, the most difficult to draw to weekly Bible studies and prayer meetings, the most inattentive to whatever is being preached? Which part of his congregation fills him with the most anxiety? Who are the Reubens for whom he has the deepest "searchings of heart"? Who in his flock are the hardest to manage, who require the most frequent warnings and rebukes, who cause him the greatest uneasiness and sorrow, who keep him most constantly in fear for their souls, and seem the most hopeless? Depend on it, his answer will always be, "The Young Men!"

Let us ask the parents in any county throughout this land, and see what they will generally say. Who in their families give them the most pain and trouble? Who need the most watchfulness, and most often provoke and disappoint them? Who are the first to be led away from what is right, and the last to remember cautions and good advice? Who are the most difficult to keep in order and limits? Who most frequently break out into open sin, disgrace the name they bear, make their friends unhappy, embitter the older relatives, and cause them to die with sorrow in their hearts? Depend on it, the answer will generally be, "The Young Men!"

Let us ask the judges and police officers, and note what they will reply. Who goes to the night clubs and bars the most? Who make up street gangs? Who are most often arrested for drunkenness, disturbing the peace, fighting, stealing, assaults, and the like? Who fill the jails, and penitentiaries, and detention homes? Who are the class which requires the most incessant watching and looking after? Depend on it, they will at once point to the same group, they will say, "The Young Men!"

Let us turn to the upper classes, and note the report we will get from them. In one family the sons are always wasting time, health, and money, in the selfish pursuit of pleasure. In another, the sons will follow no profession, and fritter away the most precious years of their life in doing nothing. In another, they take up a profession as a mere form, but pay no attention to its duties. In another, they are always forming wrong connections, gambling, getting into debt, associating with bad companions, keeping their friends in a constant fever of anxiety. Note that rank, and title, and wealth, and education, do not prevent these things! Anxious fathers, and heart-broken mothers, and sorrowing sisters, could tell sad stories about them, if the truth were known. Many a family, with everything this world can give, numbers among its relatives some name that is never named, or only named with regret and shame, some son, some brother, some cousin, some nephew, who will have his own way, and is a grief to all who know him.

There is seldom a rich family which hasn't got some thorn in its side, some blot in its page of happiness, some constant source of pain and anxiety; and often, far too often — the true cause is, "The Young Men!"

What shall we say to these things? These are facts, plain facts, facts which meet us on every side, facts which cannot be denied. How dreadful this is! How dreadful the thought, that every time I meet a young man, I meet one who is in all probability an enemy of God, traveling on the wide road which leads to hell, unfit for heaven! Surely, with such facts before me, will you not wonder that I exhort you, you must allow that there is a good reason.

Excerpted from Thoughts for Young Men by J. C. Ryle

Dangers For Young Men (via J.C. Ryle Quotes)

1. Pride

“Young men, do not be too confident in your own judgment. Stop being so sure that you are always right, and others wrong. Don’t trust your own opinion, when you find it contrary to that of older men, and especially to that of your own parents. Age gives experience, and therefore deserves respect.”

2. Love of Pleasure

“Youth is the time when our passions are strongest—and like unruly children, cry most loudly for indulgence. Youth is the time when we have generally our most health and strength: death seems far away, and to enjoy ourselves in this life seems to be everything. ‘I serve lusts and pleasures’, that is the true answer many a young man should give if asked, ‘Whose servant are you?’”

3. Thoughtlessness

“Not thinking is one simple reason why thousands of souls are thrown away forever into the Lake of Fire. Men will not consider, will not look ahead, will not look around them, will not reflect on the end of their present course, and the sure consequences of their present days, and wake up to find they are damned for a lack of thinking. Young men, none are in more danger of this than yourselves. You know little of the perils around you, and so you are careless how you walk. You hate the trouble of serious, quiet thinking, and so you make wrong decisions and bring upon yourselves much sorrow.”

4. Contempt of Religion

“This also is one of your special dangers. I always observe that none pay so little outward respect to Christianity as young men. None take so little part in our services, when they are present at them—use Bibles so little—sing so little—listen to preaching so little. None are so generally absent at prayer meetings, Bible Studies, and all other weekday helps to the soul. Young men seem to think they do not need these things—they may be good for women and old men, but not for them. They appear ashamed of seeming to care about their souls: one would almost fancy they considered it a disgrace to go to heaven at all.”

5. Fear of Man’s Opinion

“It is terrible to observe the power which the fear of man has over most minds, and especially over the minds of the young. Few seem to have any opinions of their own, or to think for themselves. Like dead fish, they go with the stream and tide. What others think is right, they think is right; and what others call wrong, they call wrong too. There are not many original thinkers in the world. Most men are like sheep, they follow a leader. If it was the fashion of the day to be Roman Catholics, they would be Roman Catholics, if it was to be Islamic, they would be Islamic. They dread the idea of going against the current of the times. In a word, the opinion of the day becomes their religion, their creed, their Bible, and their God.”

~ J.C. Ryle

http://jcrylequotes.com/2010/11/15/5-dangers-for-young-men/

George Washington's Rules of Civility

Here's some of them (there were 110):


1. Every action in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those present.
2. In the presence of others sing not to yourself with a humming voice, nor drum with your fingers or feet.
3. Speak not when others speak, sit not when others stand, and walk not when others stop.
4. Turn not your back to others, especially in speaking; jog not the table or desk on which another reads or writes; lean not on anyone.
5. Be no flatterer, neither play with anyone that delights not to be played with.
6. Read no letters, books, or papers in company; but when there is a necessity for doing it, you must ask leave. Come not near the books or writings of anyone so as to read them unasked; also look not nigh when another is writing a letter.
7. Let your countenance be pleasant, but in serious matters somewhat grave.
8. Show not yourself glad at the misfortune of another, though he were your enemy.
9. They that are in dignity or office have in all places precedency, but whilst they are young, they ought to respect those that are their equals in birth or other qualities, though they have no public charge.
10. It is good manners to prefer them to whom we speak before ourselves, especially if they be above us, with whom in no sort we ought to begin.
11. Let your discourse with men of business be short and comprehensive.
12. In visiting the sick do not presently play the physician if you be not knowing therein.
13. In writing or speaking give to every person his due title according to his degree and the custom of the place.
14. Strive not with your superiors in argument, but always submit your judgment to others with modesty.
15. Undertake not to teach your equal in the art he himself professes; it savors of arrogancy.
16. When a man does all he can, though it succeeds not well, blame not him that did it.
17. Being to advise or reprehend anyone, consider whether it ought to be in public or in private, presently or at some other time, also in what terms to do it; and in reproving show no signs of choler, but do it with sweetness and mildness.
18. Mock not nor jest at anything of importance; break no jests that are sharp or biting; and if you deliver anything witty or pleasant, abstain from laughing thereat yourself.
19. Wherein you reprove another be unblamable yourself, for example is more prevalent than precept.
20. Use no reproachful language against anyone, neither curses nor reviling.
21. Be not hasty to believe flying reports to the disparagement of anyone.
22. In your apparel be modest, and endeavor to accommodate nature rather than procure admiration. Keep to the fashion of your equals, such as are civil and orderly with respect to time and place.
23. Play not the peacock, looking everywhere about you to see if you be well decked, if your shoes fit well, if your stockings set neatly and clothes handsomely.
24. Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation, for it is better to be alone than in bad company.
25. Let your conversation be without malice or envy, for it is a sign of tractable and commendable nature; and in all causes of passion admit reason to govern.
26. Be not immodest in urging your friend to discover a secret.
27. Utter not base and frivolous things amongst grown and learned men, nor very difficult questions or subjects amongst the ignorant, nor things hard to be believed.
28. Speak not of doleful things in time of mirth nor at the table; speak not of melancholy things, as death and wounds; and if others mention them, change, if you can, the discourse. Tell not your dreams but to your intimate friends.
29. Break not a jest when none take pleasure in mirth. Laugh not aloud, nor at all without occasion. Deride no man's misfortunes, though there seem to be some cause.
30. Speak not injurious words, neither in jest or earnest. Scoff at none, although they give occasion.
31. Be not forward, but friendly and courteous, the first to salute, hear and answer, and be not pensive when it is time to converse.
32. Detract not from others, but neither be excessive in commending.
33. Go not thither where you know not whether you shall be welcome or not. Give not advice without being asked; and when desired, do it briefly.
34. If two contend together, take not the part of either unconstrained, and be not obstinate in your opinion; in things indifferent be of the major side.
35. Reprehend not the imperfection of others, for that belongs to parents, masters, and superiors.
36. Gaze not on the marks or blemishes of others, and ask not how they came. What you may speak in secret to your friend deliver not before others.
37. Speak not in an unknown tongue in company, but in your own language; and that as those of quality do, and not as the vulgar. Sublime matters treat seriously.
38. Think before you speak; pronounce not imperfectly, nor bring out your words too hastily, but orderly and distinctly.
39. When another speaks, be attentive yourself, and disturb not the audience. If any hesitate in his words, help him not, nor prompt him without being desired; interrupt him not, nor answer him till his speech be ended.
40. Treat with men at fit times about business, and whisper not in the company of others.
41. Make no comparisons; and if any of the company be commended for any brave act of virtue, commend not another for the same.
42. Be not apt to relate news if you know not the truth thereof. In discoursing of things you have heard, name not your author always. A secret discover not.
43. Be not curious to know the affairs of others, neither approach to those that speak in private.
44. Undertake not what you cannot perform; but be careful to keep your promise.
45. When you deliver a matter, do it without passion and indiscretion, however mean the person may be you do it to.
46. When your superiors talk to anybody, hear them; neither speak or laugh.
47. In disputes be not so desirous to overcome as not to give liberty to each one to deliver his opinion, and submit to the judgment of the major part, especially if they are judges of the dispute.
48. Be not tedious in discourse, make not many digressions, nor repeat often the same matter of discourse.
49. Speak no evil of the absent, for it is unjust.
50. Be not angry at table, whatever happens; and if you have reason to be so show it not; put on a cheerful countenance, especially if there be strangers, for good humor makes one dish a feast.
51. Set not yourself at the upper end of the table; but if it be your due, or the master of the house will have it so, contend not, lest you should trouble the company.
52. When you speak of God or his attributes, let it be seriously, in reverence and honor, and obey your natural parents.
53. Let your recreations be manful, not sinful.
54. Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.
 

Becoming Men: Feats of our Forefathers (via The Rebelution)

We’re all familiar with names like George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Samuel Adams and John Hancock. These men, along with others, were our forefathers and the founders of our nation. They signed the Declaration of Independence and wrote the Constitution. They won the Revolutionary War.

Not only that, but their incredible accomplishments weren’t limited to their adult lives. John Hancock entered Harvard University when he was 13 years old. Samuel Adams completed his master’s degree before he turned 21. Thomas Jefferson frequently studied 15 hours a day during his time at the College of William and Mary.

Of course, at this point it’s easy for all of us normal people to place these guys in the “superhuman” or “so-smart-it’s-disgusting” category and move on. However, there’s a danger in thinking that God simply blessed America with a generation chock-full of patriotic super-nerds just in time to write the Constitution.

You see, once we label people as a “geniuses” we usually cease to feel the need to learn from them or to be challenged by their example. The truth is that our forefathers weren’t nerds and their early college entrances were not unusual for their time.

Rather, what stood these young men apart from their peers was (1) a seemingly corporate sense that age could not keep them from accomplishing great things, and (2) an extraordinary drive that we like to call the “do hard things” mentality.

As we explore the different ways these traits played out in the early years of some of our most famous forefathers, our hope is that we will all gain a greater vision of our own God-given potential and calling.

George Washington: “He Didn’t Mark Time”

We all know George Washington as the first President of the United States, the Commander of the Revolutionary Army and the Father of our Country. These are impressive titles and the jobs that went with them couldn’t be more difficult.

But a quick glance at Washington’s teenage and young adult years indicates that these weren’t his first big titles or even his first weighty responsibilities. Rather, what comes through is a man who, from his childhood, chose to do hard things, and then did those things to the best of his ability.

According to the George Washington Bicentennial Committee (WBC), Washington was born into a “middling rank” family, lost his father when he was 11, and was never considered particularly bright or educated by his peers. Nevertheless, he developed a “passion for education [that] caused him to concentrate on hard study” and he mastered geometry, trigonometry, and surveying by the time he was 16 years old.

At the age of 17, Washington received his first big job when Lord Thomas Fairfax, one of the largest landowners in Virginia (we’re talking 5.3 million acres here), named him official surveyor for Culpepper County, Virginia.

At the time surveyors were some of the highest paid workers in the country, second only to trial lawyers. This means that Washington, at age 17, was earning today’s equivalent of over $100,000 a year.

Don’t get this wrong. Washington wasn’t an ornament who sat in an office while adult men did the real work. His journals reflect the rigor of frontier life and the WBC describes the appointment as “the fitting of a man’s tasks to the square young shoulder of a boy without cutting those tasks to a boy’s measure.”

Washington was a man at 17 years old.



To read in full, please go to


http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/12/becoming-men-feats-of-our-forefathers-2/

Boys: Don't Waste Your Youth

Go and ask believers now, and I think many will tell you: “Oh that I could live my young days over again!” He will most likely say, “Oh that I had spent the beginning of my life in a better way! Oh that I had not laid the foundation of evil habits so strongly in the springtime of my journey!”

Young men, I want to save you all this sorrow, if I can. Hell itself is truth known too late. Be wise in time. What youth sows, old age must reap. Do not give the most precious season of your life to that which will not comfort you in the latter days of your life. Sow to yourselves rather in righteousness: break up your hard ground, don’t sow among thorns.

~ J.C. Ryle

Session 4 - "Leading as a Husband & Father" - Truth & Life Conf. 2011

Real Manliness

"Real manliness is defined by Christlike character, and not just the Gentle-Jesus-meek-and-mild-style character, but the full-orbed fruit of the Spirit rounded out with strength, courage, conviction, strong passions, manly love, and a stout-hearted willingness to oppose error and fight for the truth—even to the point of laying down your life for the truth if necessary." ~  Phil Johnson

Food for thought

"When the Bible calls us to manliness the comparison isn't to femininity but immaturity. The biblical opposite of "man" isn't "woman" but boy." ~ R. C. Sproul, Jr. 

How To Take a Wife: Random Thoughts from a Simple Guy! (via The Male Domain)

As a father of eight wonderful children, marriage is talked about, read about, and thought about often in my home. Through the years, the LORD has laid upon my heart a blueprint that I hope will help my children all get married in due time. The process will look different for my sons and my daughters, yet, there will be some overlap in how both groups go about getting married, should the LORD allow.

In this post, I'll jot down a few thoughts I have on how my sons, and young men in general, should go about the process of "taking a wife." This isn't an exhaustive list by any means, and as a man gets older, say late twenties and beyond, the process will begin to change as well, so what I hope to do is present some unchanging principles that I've learned over the years.

Stage 1: Prepare Yourself
Young men should be about the business of men at an early age in life. This doesn't exclude having fun or playing xbox, but it does mean that there are limits on how much time is spent being burned in frivolous activities. As you age, say early teen to early twenties, what occupies most of your time should look vastly different from your younger years. What the bible calls men to be should begin forging who you're becoming. Study the lists on qualifications for Elders in passages like 1 Timothy 2, and Titus 1, then set those standards as your standards, and become them!

Stage 2: Have Biblical Worldview
Being firmly grounded in mid-air isn't an option! Know what you believe, why you believe it, and how to defend it from scripture. If you cant' defend it from scripture, change your belief so you can. Some key areas of biblical belief are:

• Will your wife work outside of your home?
• When will you begin having children?
• How will you educate your children?
• Will you use birth control?
• Do you understand headship and gender roles?
• What type of church will and your family attend?
• Will you go into debt, or stay out of debt, for various reasons?

Again, these are just a sample of what you should think through before you go entering into a life-long covenant with a young lady. You don't want to ask a lady to follow you if you don't know where you're going. Too many men get married before ever considering any of these questions.

I believe men should be ready to be a dad before ever getting married. I believe the womb should be open to the LORD in "most" cases, and that birth control should be avoided, again, in "most" cases.


To read in full, please go to http://themaledomain.blogspot.com/2010/08/how-to-take-wife-random-thoughts-from.html

A Young Man's Attitude Towards Women by Paul Washer | illbehonest.com

A good video for young men by Paul Washer.

A Young Man's Attitude Towards Women by Paul Washer | illbehonest.com

For the Children: Are you Saved? - Paul Washer

What a Man is Not - Biblical Manhood Part 1 - Paul Washer

What Is Godly Manhood? by John Thomas

 Biblical manhood is the state or condition of a man who is making progress in pursuing and knowing God Himself (as opposed to merely accumulating facts about God — the facts must at some point lead to a fire in the heart for the Person of God), and who values these above all else.

A godly man is a man who is after the heart of God, who longs for God, and whose own heart belongs to God. This is much more than "I gave my heart to Jesus" when I was 12 years old at summer camp. This is a moment-by-moment giving over of our heart, our self, to the Father, to Jesus, to the Holy Spirit, with a hope, a desire, a passion for His glory to be reflected in all we think and do. A godly man knows God, so much so that he can say, O God, You are my God. That, in a nutshell, is godly manhood.

Which of course begs the question: So how do I have a heart after God's heart? I think it starts right where you are — with desire (God given, I believe). In fact, I remember having only desire when I eked out this prayer, "God, I want to be a man after your heart, but to be honest, I don't have any passion for You right now at all. Please give me that passion." That simple prayer was the beginning of an amazing journey into the heart of God that continues today. What it has helped me realize is that a godly man is not made by a list, rather he is forged in the crucible of everyday life, where all the events and relationships of which he is a part are being used by God to draw the man into a greater intimacy with Him.

And it is in the crucible where I find God, because I am looking for Him; my senses are "awakened," as it were, to Him. When I am looking for Him, the Scriptures come alive, illuminated by His Spirit; prayer becomes a lifeline of conversation with the Holy One, and on my really good days I find myself like Paul, willing to give up all my religious pedigree simply to know Christ more fully.

Yes, there are a thousand practical things godly men should do, and some are of greater importance than others. We should study the scriptures. We should pay our bills on time. We should open doors for women. We should actively pursue godly relationships. We should serve. We should mentor someone and be mentored by someone. We should disciple and be discipled. We should read good books on biblical manhood.

I do all of these things and more. But if in doing them I have no greater love for Christ, no growing passion for the glory of God to be revealed through my life, no sense of a greater connection with the Spirit of God in my life, no deeper intimacy with the Father, then somewhere I have missed the point, and I need to go back to square one. You can't start at the fruit and work backwards. Fruit is borne out of abiding. This prayer I read long ago from A.W. Tozer is a great place to start:

"O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed."

That kind of heart, if it is sincere, will not be ignored by God.

To read in full, please go to http://www.boundless.org/2005/answers/a0001583.cfm

A Family's Guide to the Church - Voddie Baucham

The Problems of Fatherlessness by Voddie Baucham

How Do We Know Our Children Are Saved?

One of the ways I believe we can examine our children’s fruitfulness is their “heart” attitude in all that they do. Some questions to ponder:

1. Do they love God above all else?
2. Love His Word, music, worship, praise, people, church, activities and application of Christian world and life view to everything?
3. Do they want to spend “quality” and “quantity” time in the things of God?
4. Do they want to please their parents and do what is “just and proper” in the sight of God?
5. Do they have generous spirit and giving heart?
6. Do they obey those that rule over them, including their parents?
7. Do they respect their elders and those older than themselves?
8. Are they kind, tenderhearted, humble and forgiving?
9. Is their love shown in what they say and do?
10. Do they love God more than the things of the world, i.e., the lust of eyes, flesh and pride of life?
11. Is God in their future plans in education, career and marriage?
12. Have they made public profession of faith, exercised their faith and witness to others of their faith?
13. Are they obedient to the sacraments of baptism and the Lord’s supper?

For more of this excellent article, please go to  http://reformedwomen.wordpress.com/2011/03/20/children-and-salvation/

Where are the Men? - Paul Washer

Quest for Christlike Manhood: Passive Husbands are Killing Their Wives

Quest for Christlike Manhood: Passive Husbands are Killing Their Wives: "I hope you were able to see Mark Shaw at either Blessed Hope Community Church or Gateway Christian Church in the beginning of April. M..."

Two Little Shadows (poet unknown)

I saw a young mother

With eyes full of laughter

And two little shadows

Came following after.

Wherever she moved, 

They were always right there

Holding onto her skirts, 

Hanging onto her chair.

Before her, behind her -

An adhesive pair.

'Don't you ever get weary

As, day after day, 

your two little tagalongs

Get in your way? '

She smiled as she shook

Her pretty young head, 

And I'll always remember

The words that she said.

'It's good to have shadows

That run when you run, 

That laugh when you're happy

And hum when you hum -

For you only have shadows

When your life's filled with sun.

A Mama's Influence: When You Thought I Wasn't Looking

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator,
and I wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat,
and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me,
and I knew that little things are special things.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer,
and I believed there is a God I could always talk to.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I felt you kiss me goodnight,
and I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes,
and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared
and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked...
and wanted to say thanks for all the things
I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.

Poet Unknown

A Boy and His Dog by Edgar Guest

A boy and his dog make a glorious pair:
No better friendship is found anywhere,
For they talk and they walk and they run and they play,
And they have their deep secrets for many a day;
And that boy has a comrade who thinks and who feels,
Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

He may go where he will and his dog will be there,
May revel in mud and his dog will not care;
Faithful he'll stay for the slightest command
And bark with delight at the touch of his hand;
Oh, he owns a treasure which nobody steals,
Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

No other can lure him away from his side;
He's proof against riches and station and pride;
Fine dress does not charm him, and flattery's breath
Is lost on the dog, for he's faithful to death;
He sees the great soul which the body conceals--
Oh, it's great to be young with a dog at your heels!

The Wiggles - Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport Feat. Rolf Harris

hippo and dog singing the lion sleeps tonight

The Common Task

The trivial round, the common task,
Will furnish all we ought to ask;
Room to deny ourselves, a road
To bring us daily nearer God."

 John Keble

Indoctrination in Public Schools - The Call to Dunkirk

12 Disciples Song

(To the tune “Jesus Loves Me”)

Jesus called them one by one
Peter, Andrew, James and John
Next came Philip, Thomas, too
Matthew and Barthlomew.
James, the one they called the Less
Simon, also Thaddeus
The twelfth disciple Judas made,
Jesus was by him betrayed.

Yes, Jesus called them.
Yes, Jesus called them.
Yes, Jesus called them.
He called them one by one.